The Mythic Pundit

Oh Joy! Oh Rapture!

2011-10-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

Harold Camping says end of the world is probably today, Oct. 21, 2011

By Elizabeth Flock The Washington Post

Harold Camping, the Family Radio evangelist who wrongly predicted doomsday back in May, thinks the real end of the world could be today. In a message on his Web site, Camping declared that today, “at this point, looks like it will be the final end of everything.”

Golly! Is it the end of the world again already? Since we're on a tight schedule here, let's recycle last May's Rapture Blog:

If the rapture is actually scheduled for today, then I guess I'd better hurry up and clean my drawers. Of course, if there really IS a rapture today, then I guess I really don't need to clean out my drawers after all, except that brings up the issue of always wearing clean underwear in case you're in an accident, or a rapture, but if there really IS a rapture then I guess I really don't need any underwear, unless, of course, I'm a Mormon, and then, of course assuming that if there really IS a rapture that means that the basic tenets of Christianity are correct and my actual body will resurrect, this again brings up the question of underwear, and I would like to look snappy, maybe in something uplifting by Victoria's Secret, which brings up both the question of Hell (separate post) and the question of should I just forget about the drawers and go on a diet, which brings up the question do you think those Victoria's Secret models really look like that, or are they just airbrushed, especially the wings, which brings up the question that if the rapture really IS real do we all turn into Victoria's Secret Angels or are they really a separate phyla of creation....? The eschatological debate is endless.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN

2010-10-31T16:19:00.000-07:00

New word: Emaul
As in, "I received another emaul from your mother about missing the Bris." or

"Don't delete those psycho emauls from the contractor, because I might need to show them to an attorney." Also a verb; to emaul, emauled.

Mythic referent: Eris, the Greek Goddess of Strife, tossing the Apple of Discord into the wedding of Peleus and Thetis.

Specific Halloween referent: The erroneous assumption that, on most days of the year, the Gates of Hell are a one-way portal.

SQUIRREL TROUBLE

2010-10-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

The squirrels and our dog Callie are at war. I almost lost my thumb in a suicide squirrel tie-down, when I got crisscrossed with Callie, a squirrel and an erratic zipleash. Annoying.

The squirrels seem to be increasingly aggressive.

The dogs in the neighborhood are finding various ways to cope:

Unconfirmed sightings of supposedly extinct proto-Sciuridae have local canines on edge.

However, we have some unexpected allies in our pursuit of homeland security.

UP IN SMOKE

2010-09-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you to the patrons and supporters of my "Discard Your Outworn Ideas" enterprise at yesterday's San Anselmo Fair. We tossed out old notions, sent up some fine vibes and successfully celebrated the moment.

How do I know? Because I was THERE, and I had a GREAT time. The transmogrification of those pieces of paper containing your statements is captured in this video. Don't miss it.

LET THERE BE LIGHT!

2009-12-19T12:12:00.000-08:00

A blessed Solstice to all!
Near: Winter Solstice Muir Woods, 12/21/09 info
Far: Solstice Sunrise at Newgrange 2007, archive video

Odin's Other Eye

2009-12-11T16:09:00.000-08:00

The day before President Barack Obama arrived in Oslo to accept his Nobel Peace Prize, a strange light appeared in the pre-dawn Norway sky. Huge and glowing like a Catherine Wheel, the central light vortex emitted a smaller blue light that spiraled down to earth like a cosmic neon curly fry.

Grateful Dead show? Aurora Borealis? Lame Russian attempt to ruin perfect Obama PR moment with missile launch? No. That light in the sky was something I've been searching for since the hard freeze of winter hit--Odin's Other Eye.

Odin, the One-Eyed Father God of Norse mythology, was known for his magical abilities and for his All-Seeing Eye. Odin's eye blazed like the Sun. Odin was a Shaman, an intellectual god who hung nine days and nights on the World Tree to receive the Nine Songs of Power. You could usually find Odin dressed in a red leather suit with fur trim, tearing between worlds on his eight-legged steed, Sleipnir. Odin was not a slacker. Besides being a prototype for Santa Claus, Odin was the god of poetry--and of war.

Odin originally had two eyes. They were brilliant in his beautiful face. Yeah, he had it all. Almost. The one thing Odin wanted was Wisdom. So Odin asked the question, "Where is Wisdom found?" Wisdom, apparently, was found in the Well of the giant Mimir; Mimir is the Old Norse word for memory.

After much travail, Odin finds Mimir and asks the rude, old-school giant for a drink of the waters of wisdom. "No way, hoss." says Mimir, but he and Odin finally cut a deal. The god reluctantly rips out one of his blazing all-seeing eyes, and drops it into the Well of Memory, where you never hear another word about it. Until now.

Every night for the last two weeks, I've scanned the frosty night sky for some celestial sign--the winter moon, a meteor?--and thought about Odin. About how the brilliant light of intellectual reason does not find wisdom until it looks deep into the well of memory and past experience, both personal and historical, and examines those memories. Even so, the realization that those memories are only a reflection of a bright light on a watery surface, of an all-seeing eye glowing from the bottom of Mimir's Well, is key. It is essential to acknowledge those memories, feel them, appreciate them for what they are, and release them, like silvery water running through your fingers under a moonlit sky.

So having finally decided that if (1) Odin's other eye lay at the bottom of Mimir's Well and (2) its light reflected on the well's surface and, knowing that ( 3) Odin's good eye was the sun, then his other eye, like the missing eye of the one-eyed Egyptian sun god Horus (4) had to be the moon, I was shocked to realize that I was wrong. The true Other Eye of Odin appeared in the Scandinavian sky on Wednesday, lighting the way for Barack Obama.

Obama is a two worlds walking, intellectual shaman kind of guy. After his Nobel acceptance speech, he is also a god of poetry and a god of war. He may know the value of knowledge filtered through the waters of memory. He stated in his speech, "To say that force may sometimes be necessary is not a call to cynicism. It is a recognition of history, of the imperfections of man and the limits of reason." Odin's recognition of history and the imperfections of man led him to the knowledge that the world was going to end in a storm of fire and ice. Barack seems more upbeat.

I don't know what any of this means. I just hope it's good.

Damp Powder

2009-11-14T16:27:00.000-08:00

So nice to hear from Sarah Palin. What with the Holidays coming and all, it's sweet to get a shout out from Wasilla regarding the perfect Christmas (although, I'm guessing, probably not Kwanzaa or Hanukkah) gift from an Aspiring Goddess.
"As you have probably heard," Palin wrote Friday on her Facebook page, "the AP (Associated Press) snagged a copy of my memoir, 'Going Rogue,' before its Tuesday release. And as is expected, the AP and a number of subsequent media outlets are erroneously reporting the contents of the book."
Palin wants us to judge for ourselves.
"Keep your powder dry, buy the book--wait, did I say BUY?? I meant READ!! READ the book and, uh, enjoy it! Lots of great stories about my family, Alaska and the incredible honor it was to run alongside Sen. John McCain.*"

Palin's book, which debuts Tuesday, November 17, has already spent seven weeks at the top of Amazon.com's Best Seller List. Officials are concerned that the physical impact of simultaneously drop-shipping 1.5 million copies of the deeply discounted memoir throughout the greater United States will create further stress on the North American Tectonic Plate. Abrupt tectonic movement, combined with the anticipated carnage at Wal-Mart (also offering "Going Rogue" at $9), could disrupt the rotational inertia of the Earth, tipping the Earth's axis and expanding the precession at the Earth's Equator, thus causing the Poles to flip and Earth's magnetic field to reverse, bringing on Armageddon well in advance of its scheduled date of 2012.
So much to wrap, so little time.

*this quote has been altered for my own amusement

Goddess Worship

2009-11-02T22:33:00.000-08:00

A little tarnish is good for a Hero. It adds an enviable patina and softens the glare of public adoration. President Barack Obama fits the classic pattern of the Mythic Hero like Cinderella fits a slipper. Like the semi-divine Herakles, Obama stands astride dual worlds—black/white, insider/outsider, wonk/cool dude. Recently, Nobel Surprise fallout and concern over Afghanistan pointed out a potential disconnect between Obama’s walk and his talk, dimming his amperage to a 50% approval rating in early October. More personally for President Obama, the rejection by the International Olympic Committee of his pitch for a 2016 Chicago Olympics may make the President to wonder if The Gods still feel the Love.

On October 13—in the nick of time for our Hero--a new Goddess blossomed under the Capitol Building’s Greek Revival dome. The divinely named Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) strode down from Olympos, cast the lone Republican vote supporting the Senate Finance Committee health care proposal, and strapped on the helm of Health Care Reform. Moderate Democrats saw her as Athena, Goddess of Wisdom and Defensive War. Others cast her as Eris, Goddess of Discord, heaving her golden apple into the mosh pit of partisan politics and public options. Upbeat Republicans hailed the Junoesque Snowe as a replacement for wannabe warrior goddess Sarah Palin, newly sprung from a four month stint in the Underworld with her memoirs intact.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is the Ur-goddess of health care reform, having birthed the original plan in 1994. No matter how often Clinton paints herself as the homey hearth guardian Hestia, or dons her black and yellow killer-bee Athena suits to go to war, Hillary is always Hera, wronged wife of Zeus and Queen of the Gods. Hera was the primordial child of Rhea and Kronos. Like Hillary, Hera made the huge political mistake of being first. Hera hit the Olympic glass ceiling long ago.

Hero tales speak of timeless reality. The function of a goddess in a hero tale is to connect word to action, to drive the Hero toward his destiny. Goddesses love Heroes.

President Obama surrounds himself with smart and powerful women. Which one will be the Lady of the Lake to his Arthur? Who will hand him his sword? Keep an eye on those three California Fates, Nancy, Dianne and Barbara, watching in the wings, spinning, spinning…